weiying

2012-02-05T17:30:00.004+08:00

im sorry that im related to you ok.

it is not as if i have a choice. to be frank, i dont like it just as much as u do but i would not call u nasty names (ok, the most is stupid idiot) like asshole and bitch. it is pretty stupid because if im a bitch, you are just the male version of it and if im an asshole, you share similar DNA as an asshole.

the house is not a cage. i dont know how your mind functions. if you think having basic consideration and respect for the rest of the family members makes the house a cage, i have nothing to say.

yes, you can go around telling the rest that you are the poor victim. tell everyone im the antagonist in the whole woohaa. tell the rest how our parents sided me in the whole incident. we all know what the truth is. i have decided not to clarify myself in front of the rest of the cousins well unless she's close enough to me. my rationale is that when a quarrel ignites and the person bitches about the other person in front of common friends, he/she is rather despicable. i mean, theres always 2 sides to a story. so by doing this, what is your aim? make everyone stand by you and ostracize the other person? isnt that very childish?

over the years, how many times have you gotten me into shit? my most horrible 10 year old, my handphone stolen etc. this time, i just chose to fight for my own rights. i was feeling sorry at first. now, i think even the last twinge of apologies has evaporated.

our parents definitely did not side me if not she would have been out of the house long ago. everyone put up with her shit ok. and just last week, she definitely showcased what she is capable of in front of everyone. so how long can your side of the story stand strong?

and i feel sorry for myself for being affected with the fact that im called an asshole bitch. im affected because i care. hais. since you like to be twirled around her fingers, so be it. just leave me alone and dont harm me anymore.

2012-01-19T00:28:00.003+08:00

so the fact is deep down we all share the same fear.

i thought of this too but i refuse to let it go because i dont think just because your fists are bigger, things must go your way.

yeah, i was scared too. i mean for the first few days, i dint really sleep for the fear that he will come in my room with a knife and stab me to death etc. *hopefully it will never happen!* now i just convinced myself that if he wants to stab me, even if im awake i cant do anything.

today, i msged my mum asking her to tell her son not to smoke in the house. at night, she finally admitted that at that point of time, she was very worried that i would confront my brother and he would beat me up because he and the gf think that the whole incident was my fault and they are upset with the facebook msg.

actually, to be frank, her worries are not undue for. i was just as afraid. when i saw that there was only him and i at home, i immediately left the wooden door open. partly so that the cigarette smoke will hopefully find its way out, partly so that if something happens to me, the neighbours will be able to hear and save me.

i knew things would turn out like that so i did not delete the msg i wrote her. and as my mum reprimanded me for hurting my brother, i showed her the msg proving that i never intended for them to break up, i just hope the girl quits irritating me. really glad that i anticipated all these and did all i could to protect myself. thanks to my years of dealing with clients, entertainment companies, celebrities and not forgetting the tiongs in school.

apparently, a mysterious woman called in the evening asking coldly to speak to me. when she heard that im not around, she suspiciously refused to make known her identity. now my mum is pretty worried that it is the girl's sister calling the scold me or something. ok, this makes me scared too. what if she waits for me outside my house and pours acid on my face *screams* my worst nightmare:( what kind of girl has my brother gotten himself? this is out of my anticipation for i thought anyone in the right frame of mind would know who's wrong. of course, im not entirely faultless. blame me for being a clean freak and a privacy nutsy.

now im just keeping my fingers crossed that ill be safe.

im writing this so that if anything goes wrong, at least people know whos the culprit. haisssss.

2012-01-17T02:00:00.011+08:00

a night at ai qin hai. reminded me i used to like listening to songs alot. i guess we all lose ourselves in the course of life.

a simple shopping trip on xmas is enough to bright up my day:) the only non chinese studies uni friend i keep in touch till today :D

aww hammock. my childhood memories.

this picture doesnt justify the steep stairs. the stairs are almost vertical. as i was going up, i wonder how im going to come down later but since im already half way up, it doesnt make sense to go down again. i should use this scenario to teach the idiom jin tui liang nan/ jin tui wei gu haha. and as i expected, coming down was real petrifying. i was quivering the whole journey down.

the charms of ang kor wat.

my bombastic hair:(

the first destination of our trip. a cruise down a lake(yes i forgot the name of it hahahhaa) missionary school by the lake.

beer in vietnam, cambodia etc is cheap, cheaper than mineral water -.-

ok fine the tour guide knows where to get the good photos but he is a tour guide not a photographer so he still failed to perform

hahahaha students with the exaggerated performance.

if i ever grow this fat, ill be this disgusting...

2012-01-15T21:59:00.000+08:00

when all the small little things add up together, they make you depressed.

2012-01-02T12:05:00.002+08:00

finally took some time out to watch tai tai wan sui.

and my conclusion is nv ren nan zuo.

feeling a little apprehensive now. as much as im very excited about the fact that my prof will be as handsome as a celebrity and he might very much have shoulders u can run marathon across *drools*, it is still a fact that i havent taken any modules outside chinese studies for almost 2 years. i dont know what to expect. what if i perform very badly? :s i know the worst thing u can do is to belittle yourself or to shoulder blames but then again i cant help it. keeping my fingers crossed that everything will turn out fine.

2011-12-15T19:50:00.013+08:00

some cute ice cream they have in cambodia, more on cambodia picture next time. sick little weiying is tired now.

i just rmbed i have yet to ride on a trishaw!

antionette! spoilt for choices.

outside our exotic hotel.

yeah! i finally got to ride on a tuk tuk! of course it isnt me on the tuk tuk.

good old days!

time really flies. this was alr last yr!

ill always rmb u little tutee.

i miss the lovely grass field in cambridge.

the photo apps never fail to keep me entertained!

Success in life

2011-12-15T18:53:00.001+08:00

Now im more than 100% sure that I'm not cut out for journalism. Or perhaps I just lose the flare (if there were any ever) over the years.

I'm still pretty amazed how a 6 months stay in hong kong can transform me. So much so that sometimes I think I am no longer able to comprehend the choices made or even the likes I have before exchange.

Perhaps somehow I'm just destined to teach.

Or perhaps somehow I'm just born a plain jane with no special talent. Well, even so, I do not feel upset. Success in life is not measured by talent, wealth or social status. It is, to me, a simple issue of whether u can attain happiness and bliss in life. Easy as it sounds, it is one of the most difficult thing to achieve.

Quoting Chen Han Wei from my recent interview with him:

要保持心情好真的很難。有時候一件很小的事情就可以影響你一天的心情。想想看，如果你今天一出門就有鳥大便在頭上。哇，那種心情～不過，其實這些都是小事啊。

2011-11-27T16:18:00.002+08:00

读了很多有关《神女》的资料，对它的内容倒背如流，但很遗憾的是始终未有机会观赏这部片子。有人誉它为中国无声电影的巅峰之作，也有人说它是阮玲玉的巅峰之作。乘着还未开工之际看了一遍《神女》。

中国无声电影的巅峰之作？这个很见仁见智巴。我只能说《神女》是很典型的联华电影，superimpose,dissolve etc。要我选中国无声电影的巅峰之作，我觉得更有代表性的是《大路》吧。阮玲玉的巅峰之作？阮玲玉一向最擅长悲剧性的人物，这个人物够悲剧了吧，再加上阮玲玉的独特气质，人物刻画确实活灵活现。我始终还是比较喜欢《新女性》中的阮玲玉。

说到阮玲玉，当今似乎好像再也没有巨星了，只有艺人。现今又有谁能媲美阮玲玉的那种独特气质和巨星架势？她的五官不是最标致的，但她所散发出来的那股气质是无人能够招架的。

-------------

机缘巧合下，或者应该说在有些心不甘情不愿的情况下接了一份新工作。接了之后有些后悔，但又不能推辞。做freelance的最讲究口碑，我可真不想自拆招牌。即使以后没有从事媒体工作的意愿，但人际关系、networking还是颇为重要的。为《健康报》编辑年刊，接了工作之后马上身体不适，头疼不已。是巧合？还是我又莫名其妙地给了自己太大的压力？我最不喜欢这份工作的朝九晚五，不是应该是朝九晚六：（在加上几乎每个晚上都有的补习，我应该会累死吧。一个一点也不健康的人编辑《健康报》一点说服力也没有。希望身体好好的，老师不会在这期间给我deadline，我也不会因为接触太多健康咨询而杞人忧天！

-------------

看到公务员所能够领的花红，我有些感慨。唉……

2011-11-16T21:42:00.004+08:00

the sem kinda ended so i took some time out and watched the gold rush.

critics say it is the best movie that charlie Chaplin had ever made while charlie Chaplin himself once said it is the film he would like to be remembered for.

the Chinese silent film actor韩兰根was known to be the Chaplin of the east and i haven't watched a Chaplin movie before so i always thought Chaplin would be just like 韩兰根. exaggerated expression, comical looking etc. but i guess i was wrong. Chaplin appeared in the gold rush as his well known the little tramp. he wasn't as comical looking as he seems in still pictures. in motion, he actually looked quite charming from certain angles (damn it, maybe because I'm so guy deprived, perhaps u all shouldn't trust me on this)ANYWAYS. yeah and exaggerated expressions are minimal.

and because of this movie, i did some research too to enhance my understanding of it. so i learnt what it the gold rush (yes I'm sorry I'm so knowledge deprived.)and i learnt that Chaplin is actually British (in contrary to my don't-how-it-started belief that he is American). OH and he is just like any other man, no better how old he got, his new love will forever be 16 -.- damn it. this goes to tell me that I'm officially way past the expiry date.

--------------

and well as some of you know, I'm pretty into meditation and stuff recently. i got myself lavender essential oil and jojoba oil. they just got delivered to me today. actually i just wanted to lavender oil because it helps to alleviate pain and stuff. though people are saying that lavender oil can be used neat but i still decided to get a carrier oil just in case my skin is too sensitive.

for carrier oil, i chose jojoba oil as i have always heard about its moisturizing effect etc. when i was trying it out something miraculous happened! i was just pouring out some to try it out, since my palms are still abit oily, i decided to wipe the rest on my hair. and OMG from frizzy auntie maria, i transformed into Goldilocks under the warm evening sunlight (hahaha. OK no one is to comment on this). wooho!

heard jojoba oil can be used as make up remover too! shall try it out soon!

------------

my body ah body. :( please be fine.

2011-11-13T22:55:00.002+08:00

the semester has somewhat come to an end.

my "first" batch of students have erm "graduated" from the class, ok maybe after 23/11 which will be their examination date.

im waiting to see the online feedback. i really wonder what they think of me.

2011-11-05T22:31:00.001+08:00

i dont know who to talk to when i need to talk to someone.

i dont know what to talk about even if there is someone.

i dont know how to start everything.

2011-11-04T22:08:00.010+08:00

november photo entry:
revisiting wan qing yuan 10 years later. really different now. on our way there, a taxi uncle was trying to act cool, saying that who cares about someone who died 100 years ago blah blah blah. i guess he was talking to the wrong people.

neoprints. weiying's birthday celebration:)

bath photos from 2 years ago. in corsets. i pity women that time. no doubt it gives me the figure but it is freaking uncomfortable too.

picnic at the botanics garden.

ran into muppet in school dating her xiao nen cao. haha. so had a great catch up. i feel for her. hais.

this woman is going to leave for america again for 5 months hais.

found this in furenhuabao. was pretty entertained.

dinner at tcc. nice food!

then me trying to feel comfortable in a club . hahahaha very unsuccessful attempt.

chao ji ming xing lian! ANGRY BIRD.

2011-10-26T17:49:00.002+08:00

check out this hot bod!!!!

ive been watching this movie again and again and staring at these screenshots so much that i think ill be immuned to nan ren de luo ti soon :s

i love how old movies drop the most subtle sexual hints. these hints can be easily missed if you dont pay attention or if you do not know enough about ur own culture.

:(

2011-10-09T19:12:00.001+08:00

I bought the cupcakes because it is beautiful and nice.

I put them inside the fridge. The next thing I know they are dumped on the floor all damaged and I'm being yelled at for nothing.

I really don't know why I'm getting all these.

If only I have all the money in the world, I want to move out.

I don't want to be yelled at for nothing and getting my things smashed for nothing

Some emotional thoughts

2011-10-09T00:35:00.001+08:00

Today as we were dining in a restaurant, my grandfather said out of the blue that if he can make it past 81, he wants to book a cabin room in the restaurant to celebrate.

4 more years to go, he said. Then, he added after a little pause, "That is if I can make it."

As I was choy-ing as loud as I could, it dawned upon me that I might be losing my grandparents soon. Not that the thought never occurred to me but never was it so mmm how should I phrase it? So real? So tangible? So impending?

Drowning in my own melancholy, yes. I still told my grandfather that 4 years later we would definitely be in the cabin room eating together.

I wonder what awaits me 4 years later. Would I still be so lucky to have my grandparents healthy and just a phone call away?

I still remember my grandfather bringing me to the beach to catch small little crabs. I still remember how I'll always quiver with trepidation when I sat on his shoulders because I seem to have height phobia. Haha, yes, that's how timid I am. Memories linger and stay on forever. How I wish people do too.

The small little three room flat I grew up in with my grandparents is cozy. Small as it is, it probably the best home ever. The bigger the house get, the less family warmth there is somehow.

Getting a little too emotional tonight. Whatever it is, I can only wish for the best and face all that will come with the strength my grandparents have empowered me with.

2011-10-07T23:25:00.012+08:00

october photo entry:

VERY NICE home cooked vegetarian beehoon followed by smurfsssss. this meal is smurflicious!

my zilian moment again lalala~

i remember i used to love taking bus because i can push the card in, press the button, hear the machine at work then collect the card. haha.

sometimes im amazed my by own ability to have all kinds of expression and pose.

一家子的胖大腿。

my first time eating ben n jerry at ben n jerry! ok dont give me that look!

not bad for a first attempt!

I WANT TO PLAY SAN GUO SHA. not like im v good at it but it is rly quite fun!

saw the italian boss of the new italian stall at the deck. LOL i swear he looks exactly like him LOL

i like to live in nostalgia and make myself the constant victim of the ever changing world. i guess most people like to do what i do too. maybe that explains why nostalgia and 伤痕文学 have always been a hot topic in the academic field.

i think no one uses this book from nlb except for me which is why the post it remains untouched even after a year. lol.

a sudden craving for this. teleport me to malacca.

Control

2011-09-30T00:13:00.001+08:00

I need to regain control.

Over my emotions.

2011-09-10T19:01:00.011+08:00

i just realised that i forgot to do a photo entry for august! lim en's lovely gift which terrorize the hell out of me. haha.

still intact on my toes!!!

ade's farewell~~~

ok, nan de yi jian de quan jia fu.

i havent seen them for ages!

i dont know what i was thinking. but oh wells.

ran into my primary school classmate!!!!

snippets from bintan

my new fringe!

not bad! just that the skin is abit too powderyyyyy

可惡的身體

2011-08-18T16:14:00.001+08:00

等著看醫生。

頭很痛。暈眩想吐。發麻。手顫抖著。

突然很想放聲大哭。

Dot dot

2011-08-11T21:09:00.001+08:00

Wah I really concuss all the way from habourfront to punggol :s
I guess with the prestige comes the sacrifices.

Dot dot= colon in my language k tsk!

2011-08-07T18:52:00.002+08:00

so this week is struggling to finish the book review i guess

im too optimistic at wrong times.

what made me think graduate studies is just going to be like undergraduate studies:s

mmmmmmm~

nvm what is done is done, i should work hard and do my best:D

and so i did. i "locked" myself in the library after my tuitions yesterday. i thought ill be alone and was pretty worried because u know it is the month of the year and it does get pretty scary sometimes. but ok i was very wrong. alot of other graduate students. lol maybe this is my mingyun.

and the good thing is im almost over the stupid issue. i guess with experience, the time taken shortens expotentially. mmm is that good or bad. right now, im enjoying my single life again.:) sets me thinking. perhaps in contrary to what ive always thought, im really not suitable for a committed relationship or marriage. it is very hard, well i think almost impossible for me to give up what i like or change my lifestyle dramatically for a person. im always amazed by how people can do that.

my students are fully utilizing me during the national day holidays. well, blessing in disguise. ive been spending too much.

i chopped off my fringe:D finally a hairstylist would do it for me without saying it is going to be weird! love her. turns out good what. now i feel younger:D

everytime i do manicure. this particular student has a lot to say. red=ghost. purple with polka dots=bettle. white with black shatter=liquid paper. -.- 童言无忌。

2011-07-24T15:11:00.000+08:00

maybe toshi's hospitalisation is a blessing in disguise

2011-07-17T22:11:00.002+08:00

day11

how do i feel today?
well, i can function. just that my mind is still all on that. like my hands legs etc are working but i arent rly argh i dunno how to phrase myself.

i dunno why guys tend to be able to move on fast. or is it my problem. i take eons.

im pretty glad i drag myself to go out with jc friends ytd. i almost dint want to go. then i rmb how i had previously wallowed in self pity all alone at home and how it dint help.

（ｉ _ ｉ）

2011-07-17T01:16:00.001+08:00

又是個難熬的夜晚

2011-07-17T00:15:00.001+08:00

im really afraid this will affect my future relationships.

talk about regrets.

2011-07-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

im like a porcupine now.

i need to end all these negative emotion thingy soon.

2011-07-15T00:55:00.001+08:00

i really feel tonnes better.

thanks alot!!!!!!!!!

2011-07-14T01:17:00.003+08:00

i guess i am back to this again.

i dont even know how to start my story because there was nothing concrete.

it even kinda killed my love for something ive always liked.

how did i land myself in this?

how long do i need this time?

but i give myself a pat for having improvements.

i no longer have to tear everywhere i go. i no longer have to call someone every night like i did a few years back.

well i dont know it it is because i have better control over my emotions or i can no longer find someone who would just hear me breathe and let me feel his/her presence.

i think i would feel better if i can have a big hug while i cry whatever shit out but i just wouldnt show any negative emotions in front of people.

this time, i really dont feel like talking to people about it. i dont want to talk about it. i just want to feel someone/anyone's presence. i wish i can talk to more ppl about it but i just cant bring myself to do that.

time is going to heal this. time is going to heal this.

ill be ok. ill be ok.

2011-07-13T19:31:00.021+08:00

a summary of what i have beeen up to. not in chronology order though. met up with muppet to pass her her hood to realise that she actually got me smth from london! v touched:D but feeeeling bad that i dint get her an individual gift from turkey! oh the earl grey jelly i had on that day was marvellous!!!!

went to acm to see bin ma yong. i din get to go xi an during exchange so might as well. interesting. realised that my memory is failing meeee. my Chinese history hao xiang bai du le.

one of my most special friend from uni. oh well technically speaking not from uni but aiyah. i wonder how I'm going to survive masters without her. i have to the tendency to rely on ppl alot sometimes. emotionally.

hahahah the hua lu shui i got liqin to buy for me. high expectations in the end it turned out smelling like urine, ah pek etc. hahahahaha. this was after collecting our gowns then we headed to national museum for the open air cinema:D

ok. seeeee where the balloons are all concentrated at? yeah im right there. im pretty glad they are balloons not stones-.-

short trip to bintan. not recommended~~~ HAHAHAHAHA i was bored lah rly.

bumping into random people during commencement and this is MY PRIMARY SCHOOL CLASSMATE WHOM I HAVE NOT SEEN FOR 11 YEARS! fancy running into her here.

and of course, theres my cousin's wedding so we were the jiemei and the recep.

managed to catch up with momo and fen before school starts for them. i realised the 3 of us dint take a picture tgt! aiya. it was tcc 1 for 1 main course:D

showcasing my new earrings:DDDDDD

thanks for the flowers MUACKS MUACKS the bouquet is still surviving good in my house. thanks to my mum's tender loving care. dui wo dou mei you na me wen rou! tsk!

another wedding:D my prof's! first wedding i attended without my parents. pretty cool. a concept i would like to keep in mind.

with my major peeeeps!

part 2 of museum trips. sam mainly:D and revisiting national museum. im impressed. quite a bit of changes in just merely 2 months.

thanks for coming all the way down! i rly appreciate it:D

ok i miss turkey. maybe more of the memories it holds.

my first time at teo heng:)

the last picture i took using xiaobai was actually my ht. hahahah and my ht is now in the library. pats myself. not bad weiying.

san guo sha at my place:D

this app is rly very fun HAHAHAHHA

2011-07-12T19:42:00.002+08:00

今早终于找到你的部落格。

里头记载着你患病以来的点点滴滴。

得知你的事后，我不由地掉了几滴泪水。很庆幸你是通过MSN告诉我的。我想这个时候你最不需要的就是别人为你掉的眼泪。很想陪你渡过这个难关，但是不知从何做起。突然很遗憾我们的友谊还没到达死党的阶段，否则我便能够随时到你家陪你聊天、带你心爱的书本过去给你解闷、为你煮健康午餐、帮你家人照顾你……

我的各种烦恼骤然变得微不足道。读着你的部落格，咀嚼着你每个字背后的坚强，我终于释放出这整个星期以来的负面情绪。

好久没这样放肆地抽泣了，搞得早餐还没到胃又跑了出来。（连早餐都鄙视我：（）

去学校的路上，泪水还是不受控制。好在不是繁忙时间，不然也太招摇了。一直到在学校里遇见熟人，和他们聊了几句，这才把我拉了回来。

你要加油。

*也希望我那些微不足道的烦恼不会演变成大问题*

.

2011-06-26T02:58:00.001+08:00

I cannot please everyone.

I need not please everyone.

So I should quit sinking into the depressive mood again.

I have better things waiting for me to do.

Move on.

2011-06-12T16:41:00.005+08:00

拧着眉头是过日子，笑着也是过日子，倒不如笑着过日子。

这道理很简单，但是有多少人能够做到。到耄耄之年，我想我也不敢打包票。

路是我自己选的。我知道转个弯，他的影子将随即消失在昏暗中。

我既然不允许自己纠缠在那越发粘人的可恶蜘蛛网中，我今日的难过又是何苦呢？

为何还是一脸怃然？为什么情绪仍会受到影响？

有时候，我真的很不了解自己。

或许我只是一个向往被黑夜覆盖的怪胎。

2011-06-08T18:07:00.003+08:00

recalling an interaction with a male lulu yesterday makes me feel real irritated. they somehow just have the amazing ability to amplify the goods of Singaporean male species. so Singapore guys, you ought to be exultant that u have them here -.-

anyway, i was just in the queue, buying my zhu za tang. before me is male lulu. somehow, mine came faster than his but he had already placed a tray there. the thing is the area is so small that you can only place one tray there so i just used his tray. THEN, i felt a deadly stare from behind. i turned around and male lulu was staring at "his" tray as if I'm about to steal his 100carats diamond. -.- and so i placed his tray back to where it came from and took a tray below it. guess what? male lulu nodded his head, the way u would when you see a kid doing something right finally. WTH.

i wanted to throw my arms up in the air, wide like an explosion but i decided against it because i have no armpit air. i don't want to disappoint him~~~~

*************************************************************

allow me to sneak another glance at you, not because you are drop dead gorgeous, just because you attract me so.

***************************************************

an avalanche of work or having nothing to do everyday?

i would choose the former. this is how weird, different, mm atypical whatever u want to call it, i am so pls quit stereo typing me.

2011-05-31T23:48:00.008+08:00

the scenery in turkey took my breath away. i chose to enjoy what was around me then to let the info bombard me. sorry tour guide! ahahha

ikea mirrors are lovely! hahahahahaha

eermmmmm

the v first day:)

i got 2 big fat pimples on my nose after the 11 hour flight :s

bye x2 ht

ouch ouch ouch. it was rly painful k like 天堂路

i have fat arms:( saddddd

2011-05-30T18:54:00.002+08:00

unless the "e" on my toshi recovers, i cannot have any photo entries:(

which makes my blog VERY BORING.

anyway, today is the day for result release.i feel nothing seriously.

because i know no matter how good i perform, ill be stuck with 0.05 away from first class, now im 0.08 away. my ht is A-. im pretty glad i didn't get A because i would feel really disappointed that i just miss my first class by zero point something. now i know even if i hit the score, i cant get 1st class. so yeah makes me feel better. everything is relative. im pretty emotionless typing this. people seem to think i should have erm graduation googles? erm joy? erm or whatsoever~

but honestly, i feel nothing towrads this graduation and results thing. dont ask me why. i dunno.

i heard a story about someone wasting alot of time on certain people and therefore causing him/her to not do better in nus. well isnt it the same here? i have no idea what happened the first 2 years of my uni. my life just revolved around him. i spent the last 2 years of my uni life pulling my grades up. im not complaining. i just want to say why put the blame on people? well, u chose that person over your studies, didnt you? just as i did. though in the end, it dint turn out quite right. life is like a gamble. since u place your bet on something, you cant change your mind, ure kinda stuck with it. so why look back with regrets? i would say because i had chosen the person over my studies, i learnt a lesson, no doubt a painful lesson and a lesson i wish i had not have to go through but hey it is a lesson no books/ no lecturers will teach.

i came to know myself better. what i am and who i am.

I know im fat so shut up

2011-05-25T02:15:00.001+08:00

It doesn't help when ure in the recovery period or rather trying to act like nothing had happened, someone comes along and tells u ure fat.

And then things get worse when u alr make it very clear to stop it but he insists that well it's true and he is skinnier blah blah

Thanks alot ok. I know I'm fat ugly disgusting unattractive what so ever.

Well at least it forced the weird awkward not knowing if they should fall tears roll down.

I'll just quit eating like a pig.

I really felt the urge to kick the person right into the road with fast traffic today. Luckily someone was blocking me. I think perhaps she knows me enough to know something is wrong because I almost never swear at a person before in his face.

I dunno why but I was just so angry and protective at that moment. Maybe because I've been trying to restore my confidence level, trying cheer myself up very hard the past few days yet he just totally screwed everything up by saying all
that and refusing to stop.

Well, life goes on. Unless I have the guts to do plastic surgery or my health allows me to not eat, I should just shut up and live with it.

2011-05-21T14:29:00.002+08:00

i always wonder when people alr have a set of "correct" answers, why bother asking?

if you want to ask, shouldnt you keep an open mind? not to ask you to like embrace the idea but at least not give the disapproval look.

question i get alot these days is what are your plans for the future.

people have all sorts of ideas for me. just in case, u have any one of the below for me, pls, the following are not for me.

1. go overseas to teach: this all depends on where my future husband will be based at. singapore might not be the best place to live in but hey where on earth is perfect? plus my loved ones are all here. unless theres a need, i dont see myself pursuing my career overseas.

2. start a business i.e. tuition centre: i have no interest starting a business of my own. NO INTEREST ok. grrrr. stop telling me this. if u like to start one, go ahead. quit thinking that i should start one and that im stupid to want to work under other people. yes i am that not ambitious. happy?

3. if u dont want to start a business, just start tuition classes, work from home. stress free: GRRR this is so damn boring. i NEED TO GO OUT.

blah blah blah blah blah

so whats wrong with me having no BIG plans? whats wrong with me just wanting to have a job that pays me enough? i have no big passion. my ultimate goal is to be happy and well perhaps a lovely family of my own?

planning so much, thinking so big doesnt do me any good except to make me unhappy because ill never be satisfied.

i know my definition of plans for the future is not the conventional/main stream one but hey respect me. i do not choose what i choose bcause im an idiot and have not thought about the options u have raised. if you know me well enough, i think alot.

2011-05-16T19:37:00.000+08:00

时光倒流。

我将会是维新派党员。

2011-05-16T18:35:00.002+08:00

生平的第一个红炸弹今天出现在邮箱里。

可爱的是，不是我朋友要结婚，是我老师觅得终生伴侣了。

这张请帖意义非凡。

：）

2011-05-15T00:21:00.002+08:00

ok what have i been up to:

(not in chronological order)

1) the e and s on toshi is getting a bit cranky. u have to use extra force if not they will not appear on the screeen. makes me realise that there are alot of words with e. immensely irritated. should i send toshi to the doctor?

2)back from turkey. great trip:) now im like a ctc lover hahahaha.

3)lucky to have the most angelic class for the nanhua drama and scriptwriting class:)

4)getting to know even more about my major mates now that we have graduated.

5)tuition tuition tuition.

6)im meeting my p2 form teacher tmr. OMG.AM SO EXCITED. yet a littl bit nervous too. i hope there will be no awkward leng changs.

that is all i can remember for now!

2011-04-29T15:56:00.002+08:00

刚看过了《阮玲玉》

修城市与文学的时候，其中一个readings用《阮玲玉》与《胭脂扣》作了一个对比。我读了这篇reading之后就一直很想找个机会好好地观赏这部电影。因为我很好奇。阮玲玉这么经典的一个人物，张曼玉要如何去诠释。这部电影是不是又会老梗重提，大肆渲染阮玲玉的爱情史？

结果事实证明是我自己太肤浅了。

整部电影花了很多心思，资料收集也做得非常用心，颇具真实性地重构了阮玲玉走向星星坠落的那几年，而且又加入了一些电影、文学虚构性的元素。如果整部电影是平铺直叙地进行叙述，相信很能赚人热泪，必定能够成为一部叫好叫座的商业电影。但是很开心，这部片子并没有落为俗套，不然好像就糟蹋了阮玲玉如此传奇的一生。

阮玲玉有一种独特的风韵，她长得并不特别标致但就是有一股莫名的吸引力。记得第一次看她的电影是看《国风》的时候，当时觉得她很做作，反而更喜欢黎莉莉。不过，后来看得越多，越觉得那不是做作而是一种经典，类似于玛丽莲梦露的经典。张曼玉也是一位难得风韵十足的女演员。可惜，阮玲玉给人的那种感觉似乎是没有人所能够驾驭并且诠释的。

说实在的，我还是最钟情于80年代末、90年代的香港电影。独特的社会环境、历史阶段创造了当时港片中的一种独特风韵，类似于阮玲玉那种无人可取代的风韵。再看现今的港片，我再也找不到那种我喜欢的“港味”。有时太小家碧玉，有时又太多的科幻动作。近几年来，港片对我来说已经没什么吸引力了。80年代末、90年代的港片根本不需要什么高科技，它就是有着它最原始的感动，表达着当中最深层含义。

《细路祥》、《笼民》、《胭脂扣》、《重庆森林》、《英雄本色》…… 这些好电影看来也只会随着时间的流逝，被遗忘在光阴隧道的某一隅。五、六十年后，不知是否又会有人将他们“挖掘”出，掀起一股“老香港”热呢？谁会是另一个阮玲玉？谁又会是另一个费穆呢？……

2011-04-22T23:48:00.003+08:00

today marks to the end of my old diary and the start of a new diary.

basically, this diary accompanied me from june 08 all the way till today (obviously i dont write very frequently haha)

just wanna share some things i wrote in there. because now that i look back, im kinda amazed. i never knew such words would come out from me.

so im baring my soul to u guys bascially hahahaha (of course lah, contents mostly censored though)

"最美的回忆，永远在心深处。你庆幸拥有但是当它将成为永恒的回忆时，你却痛恨你曾经拥有。只因为没见过黎明，你永远都不会知道夜晚的寂寞难耐，这就是幸福快乐的代价。”

i bet i cant produce anything like that anymore. uni life has successfully killed every single cell of my ability to write.

“我只能把我对你的思念写在这里。我的自尊心不允许我让你知道。”

我爬出失恋深渊的一步一脚印。

“威颖好像死了一半了……”

不知道现在那一半复活了吗？

“自私的人有资格得到无私的爱吗？”

good question.

“And my email got hacked because im stupid"

hahaha! indeed~

"The fortune teller said I shouldnt jump back to previous relationships as
it will turn into a bad one."

i cant believe i wrote all these in my diary, nvm, good reminder.好马不吃回头草。

“我应该学着只把美好的东西放在回忆里，只往好的方面看，期待一个自己可以避雨得歇的臂弯。若有任何暴雨（炎欠）至，至少我真正开心过，无怨无悔。”

i forgot i wrote this so obviously i havent done what i told myself to do.

"since it is the last day of 2010, i wonder if i should have some
conclusive statements but the fact is i have none."

i bet ill have none again this year.

Hancock movie ticket-"Hancock with dear. how lonely it is to be
extraordinary so 平凡才是幸福."

lol me and my movie tickets!

Truth movie ticket-"Last movie in sg, wonders if this will be the
last."

女人的直觉真的很准。

2011-04-18T23:00:00.010+08:00

feeling pretty down. i expected this. nv ren de zhi jue zui zhun. but still, im very affected. what a time to admit. i only hope my exams will not be affected by this too much. so thought i would up some photos to cheer myself up. lin yi shun's (yes the yishun yishun) daughter looks like xiao-s!

xieshiyan. all the year 4s are asked to go in front to sing the ban ge for the teachers. obviously everyone is having little conversations instead. hahahaha and gosh how many of us are going to be teachers. not a very good example.

we never fail to do this hahaha

i must go back to this moment. i was pretty convinced i need no guy and ill be happy by myself. sorry momo hahahah ur cute little head!she said my mickey looks like pyjamas boohoohoo hahahahaa but i love her still:D

supper kakis. i love suppers, not because i like to get fat but somehow it makes me feel more happening hahahahahahaahaha what a stupid reason. sorry. i love bath. whenever i recall this very moment, when i was basking in the sun(warm sun unlike singapore's) doing nth, i feel really good.i am still very amused by this bear. hao hao ming ahhahahhahahhahaa

累了

2011-04-07T18:14:00.001+08:00

累了

2011-04-06T19:11:00.001+08:00

眼泪掉下来的那一刻

我知道你不值得

もう一度

2011-03-29T08:33:00.001+08:00

もう火曜日。速い（ーー；）

不開心

2011-03-22T19:13:00.001+08:00

近來，諸事不順（；＿；）

Boohoohoo

2011-03-21T14:42:00.001+08:00

I really have sagging face:((((((((

Boohoohoo!

Whyyyyyyyy

I thought aging is supposed to take place only like after 25

Or because I became so fat in hk and suddenly lost almost 10kg in 2 months, that's y my skin is getting loose???

Boohoohoo

I want to boohoohoo again

Boohoohoo

-.-

2011-03-16T14:38:00.001+08:00

We always do things we will come to regret even if we know we will regret

2011-03-13T17:11:00.002+08:00

我知道我的不愉快源自于我的无法释怀。

可我真放不下。

也许是因为她至今仍坚持自己是对的。

我得不到我要的歉意，所以我放不下。

以致每当出现小摩擦，再次触碰我那条神经线的时候，我便会有种很彻底的不愉快感。还不至于到痛哭涕零，但就是有一丝丝淡淡的小忧郁酥酥麻麻地缠绕着自己。

不想憋在心头，但那已编织成网的小忧郁却始终顶在齿后。它坚持不曝光。它害怕见光死。它不甘就这样随着一口叹息，化为虚无。

不知不觉中，那种恨仿佛已经蜕变成了我和自己的拉锯战。

我现在是在和自己怄气吗？还是我仍然痛恨着她在有意无意间烙下的创伤？又或许这根本不过是一种幼稚而无味的为何别人能在满是关爱的环境下成长而我却不行的恨？

也许，D在我的眼里看到了那小忧郁的尾巴。但是，当D问道：“What happened?”的时候，我也不知道如何启齿。

Would you judge me? That's the question.

Would you fully understand how I feel? Have you been through it? Will you be yet another one who thinks I'm making a mountain out of a molehill?

这是我在一片“Nah, I'm ok!"的嬉笑声所给D的答案。

2011-03-12T23:28:00.004+08:00

*正在讲解综合填空*

我：什么是安全感？
学生：你不要这样看着我……我给不了你……
我：很好，你明白得很透彻。

---------

student: what is your email?
me: im not going to tell u unless you get 80 or above this coming sa1. i know u are going to use it to find me on facebook.
student: eeeee! how come u know!!!!!
me: because i can read your mind.
student: really????? ok i must try to read yours too!

*puts his head as near to my forehead as possible*

-------------

2011-03-09T23:16:00.009+08:00

check this out! these are adverts u will see on the cinema screen in sg eons back!

lol. i am such a nice friend.

hc~~~~~~ fond memories!

ok very lady-like but we all know it is not true haahha

the photo i like best from my qi zhi zhi lv. dont ask me why! ahahaha

i finally thought of a name for my iphone. xiao ai! small love<3>
awwww nanyanggggggg~ qin shen duan pu haisss i cant believe im ending my studies in a few months time.

find me! i dint change much so i guess it is quite easy:) but then again, i think this picture is a nightmare for alot of people ahhahaha!

stay away

2011-03-06T12:32:00.002+08:00

I'm in a freaking foul mood

Birthday wishlist

2011-03-02T13:59:00.004+08:00

Healthy body
Camera
Pencil box
Marc Jacobs/ Kate spade bag
Water bottle
thumbdrive
Havaianas slippers (im a size 37!)
Wallet
marc jacobs daisy perfume
Manicure/pedicure treat
Or any clothes, accessories etc

881 and 12 lotus

2011-02-24T10:45:00.001+08:00

Rewatched 881 and 12 lotus for my essay last night.

4 years ago, I did not shed a tear for 881. This time I had a few drops of tears gliding down my face.

3 years ago, I cried what is tantamount to last nights share for 881. This time, I sobbed like mad and almost finished the whole box of tissue.

Point number one to say damn.

Point number two to say damn is I cannot help but be attracted to Chen zhi Wei. I really just like hokkien bengs. As eye candies. Ok my taste is very local I know -.-

Bye again

2011-02-18T12:46:00.001+08:00

I just learnt that my first crush ever which lasted for a good whole seven years passed away a few years back, either in a gang fight or in a car accident.

So many deaths recently:(

:(

2011-02-17T11:59:00.001+08:00

To have someone you know being murdered, all over the papers, all over the news.

Suddenly, a lot of other things do not matter anymore.

2011-02-14T01:27:00.003+08:00

this is my first single vday after so many years.

readjusting period.

i think this will be the saddest of all.

because during sec sch/jc period, you have lots of friends around you and everyone will make/buy something for everyone else so i always go home with lots of presents.

then i graduated. i got my first boyfriend. not as many present. in fact, i do not feel as pampered as i wa sin jc but oh well, i know i had a valentine.

then 2/3 years later, i got my second boyfriend. erm. yes. i do not feel like it is valentine's day at all but at least yes, i can tell myself i have a valentine.

erm sadly, one year later, im back to the all alone stage. tsk. i was pretty fine with it but on such an occassion, i feel obliged to have a valentine because i no longer has so many classmates, schoolmates, cca mates to make me lovely things and for me to make lovely things for.

ok. at most ill just tongbingxianglian with my mother. well, at least she has a valentine, just that he is the most unromantic guy in the whole wide world.

maybe tmr ill go buy flowers for my mother and myself on my way back.

seriously, who invented valentine's day. grr.

.

2011-02-13T13:28:00.001+08:00

I lack depth.

又圓又扁

2011-02-12T15:48:00.001+08:00

Me: you yuan you bian means round and flat.
Tutee: ah! I know what is round and flat! (lifted up his shirt and pointed to his tummy)
Me: mmmm, I don't think u fully understand the meaning of you yuan you bian.
Tutee: (sucks in his tummy) whatttttttttttt, it is round and flat what!
Me: alright, I shall try to forget that you sucked in your tummy.
Tutee: (passes me the chips he was eating) can u help me pack it up? I don't want to eat anymore.

Silence while I packed it up
After 1 minute or so.

Tutee: I shall not eat deep fried stuff for a week.

Hahaha ok I'm evil. Not like my tummy reflects the meaning of you yuan you bian anyway hahaha

2011-02-08T23:50:00.001+08:00

upsetting as it is, ill accept.

be glad that im the grown up me now.

a few years back, i might not be able to understand. i might throw a tantrum.

for this, i shall love myself more.

2011-02-05T15:28:00.002+08:00

后知后觉有时也是一种幸福。

太早知道得太清楚反而是一种折腾。

待时机成熟之后才恍然大悟未曾不是件好事？

A weird phobia

2011-02-02T08:40:00.001+08:00

I'm developing this weird commitment phobia.

When I see family with kids, it is no longer about how blissful it is but omg is this what will happen to me.

Gosh. What's wrong with me? What have I become?

2011-01-30T23:32:00.012+08:00

photo time! this is joy's friend aka the wuliande descendant. look at me, im so excited that i look like im taking photo with some superstar. i think he was amused by me.

Singapore flyer has a new passageway. yes, i went there the 4th time. i contribute to Singapore's tourism industry.

i cant believe we have been friends for 16 years. that is as old as an olevel student! yet we have so little photos tgt!

i discovered new functions but xiaobai is dying.

hahha for the fun of it, i placed 2 neoprints together. the above was taken 8 years ago and the below a week ago.

our nails:D

62 peeps! been a long time!

i love playing with this app HAHAHA

the curls haimianbaobei gave me(as above) inspired me to perm my hair. i still think haimianbaobei gives better curls BUT they dont last. even with ceramic perm, my hair straightens at an unbelievable speed. weeks ago, i was still complaining that i look like a poodle dog, now it is almost straight. tsk.

2011-01-29T01:23:00.002+08:00

another new cause for me to be paranoid.

i shall give myself till may.

hopefully.

and i wish im a paranoid freak again this time.

語言についで

2011-01-24T13:24:00.001+08:00

I really need to work hard to speak perfect Chinese and English. This is definitely more important than learning numerous languages.

My grasp of both languages are so bad that many a time, I am at a loss for words.

Am I planning to stay in Singapore all my life? Am I thinking of making only Singaporean friends?

No. My life is not going to be so limited. I am not going to let this happen.

Therefore,

頑張ってね！あきらめないでp(^_^)q

2011-01-23T23:31:00.004+08:00

somehow, i find old chinese movies better than alot of the present ones.

movies now might be alot more colourful and alot more of the high tech gimmicks but seriously i am not looking out for that in movies. using all these is parallel to making use of a flamboyant cover to shield the fact that there is limited content. well, unless it is in the very rare situation that you happen to have them both, like "looks" and "contents".

just watched xiao cheng zhi chun. i watched it once but i guess i didn't know how to appreciate it then. i thought it was quite boring. but now that i watched again, in depth, I'm falling in love with it. no wonder it is ranked the first, beating even yingxiongbense, beating even afeizhengzhuan.

speaking of which, it goes to show how much i have changed over the years. it is quite scary. sometimes i wonder how i have managed to live my life being who i was. and i can feel myself changing again. maybe I'm not so bent on having kids anymore THANKS TO THE SHAN AND ROSS SHOW.

hahahhaaha. stupid reason behind the change.

どうするほうがいいね

2011-01-19T14:40:00.001+08:00

仕方がない。

もうすぐ、もう一度、バカになる（ーー；）

2011-01-16T21:57:00.003+08:00

school has started but i dont if it is because it is my last sem or what i feel extremely laid back. mmmm i wonder if this is good or bad.

i spent the whole afternoon watching all the available episodes of shan and ross show on clicknetwork and OMG yuan lai very long ago, they interviewed jolin's current bf. mmm. he is really very cute *drools* even the moles on his hot bod look cute *drools more*

thesis is almost done. if nothing goes wrong the first draft should be out by end of january.

bought my new year clothes. a new try for me but obviously it is not very well received. mmm nvm.

sometimes, some stuff are really only suitable for my lovely little diary in my drawer. i think im very different from people of my generation. haisss. this explains why i love lao nan ren HAHAHA anyway~ while people dont read the papers anymore, i read 3 everyday almost without fail and all in chinese. while people are all so tech savvy, i can only say im an it idiot. and the list goes on. so whenever i first meet people i try not to talk too much. just in case im deemed a weirdo and denied the chance for a new friendship.

Grrr

2011-01-09T15:00:00.001+08:00

I just bought a pair of black stockings with cute little star shape flower prints for acting cute purposes and I got scolded by my mother-.-

只有不正經的女人才會穿這些。

甚麼？現在年輕小妹妹也會穿的，可以修飾腳型。

跟你講，你就有一大堆說。我跟你講好過別人講你。

是你對黑絲襪有偏見好不好。

那你就穿個夠，不要跟我說。

Wth. Im just trying to be nice and talk to you. I have nth to say so I took out what I just bought to show u! Grrrr. And she calls me a whore. Wth. For buying black stockings WITH geena flower prints!

另類減重

2011-01-04T14:35:00.001+08:00

放下心中所有的怨恨後，一身輕。

2011-01-01T01:02:00.001+08:00

should never ever start a year looking in the mirror.

especially when the mirror is a magnifying one.

and especially when you are under extremely bright lights.

haissssss

resolution of the year: flawless skin (quite impossible but then again haisss)

2010-12-30T18:32:00.011+08:00

i was looking at some photos just now and i think i made the best decision ever to end it. omg! mei xiang dao cai ji nian de shi jian.... *slaps my mouth* i think i have the jian-nest mouth in the world. perhaps thats why i have bad karma. i can never be the da mei nv i want to be.

ANYWAY

photo time!

the first picture i took in vietnam. was in the airport toilet and i saw this. haisss...

these are the hanoi turtles i want to thank! muack muack!

my first time on a motorbike!

the pretty little flower i picked up at sapa:D

ella! i love this photo alot:) it is now the background picture for my toshi too:)

my nails! still intact now :D

they say i should use this photo to xiang qin-.- obviously my lid tape was not very well done. i ahve da xiao yan.

2010-12-22T23:00:00.002+08:00

thankoo the turtles in hanoi:D

i decided to break the good news to my mother today since i slept the whole afternoon away yesterday and dint feel like talking at all when i woke up just in time for my show.

and my dearest mum said this to me.

你是不是看错了？

and my knee jerk response was 怒瞪。

and then my mum decided she can laugh this off and so she gave a fake laugh.

哈哈哈。

Superficial me

2010-12-22T13:13:00.001+08:00

it is all the minute details in daily life that makes me so sure that I'm just another superficial idiot who judges people despite trying not to.

I saw 2 guys on the plump side approaching me, hair disheveled and everything. I was all ready to take a deep breath and hold it till they walked past me.

How wrong was I! They smell tons better than I do, they deserve more to hold their breath when walking past me. They smell fresh, like right out of a shower -.-

回到家中的感覺

2010-12-20T09:22:00.001+08:00

難得旅行後一點也不想念那地方。

2010-12-19T13:48:00.002+08:00

waiting for the plane back to singapore.

conclusion of this vietnam trip is yet another china. period.

kinda defeats my purpose of not wanting to go to china anymore until i turn old -.-

in the past few days, i went to halong bay on a shitty tour and met a haughty brisbane girl. i dislike her use of words. yeah every dirt cent. ask me about it and the things that happened at halong bay.

2010-12-16T17:54:00.001+08:00

cute little kids are fighting over tidbits behind me hahahha so cute.

a treacherous day hiking at sapa:( all muddy and stuff.

tonight, i woud set off to hanoi then haong bay:D

2010-12-15T16:50:00.002+08:00

after one night on the train, im in sapa!

many many first times in vietnam!

first time sleeping on an overnight train, first time travelling alone, first time eating snails, first time seeing the fog moves very fast across the sky and first time riding on a bike.

climbed a mountain today. a quite easy one:)

tmr will be a day tour:D and then another night on the train before heading to halong bay !

staying in a hotel co-owned by an australian white. i guess it is quite rare here. he told me in sapa theres ony about 20 expats and amongst them are mostly french, only one australian. haha.

nice weather here, cool and foggy:)

met some singaporeans somehow we all thought a certain place sells relatively hygenic bread and biscuits so we were all in the shop and we all met by chance HAHA.

2010-12-14T20:23:00.002+08:00

day 2 at hanoi.

i woke up with an even more swollen eyes boohoohoo. the whole morning was just running around for my poor little eye. went to the vietnam french hospital but the doctors are all engaged. had to trouble dear anh to help out in the end. we went to private eye doctors but was rejected because im singaporean and not vietnamese:( and the public hospital was closed for lunch gosh... finally i got medicine from a drugstore. turns out that i have zhen yan. :s not too sure yet. shall go to the doctor when im back in singapore. hope all will be fine meanwhile. poor eye.

so poor anh has to bring us around again. booked the train tickets to sapa and a tour to halong bay. 2 days 1 night for only 25usd! woohoO!

after lunch was the oldest jail in hanoi and then the hoan kiem lake once again. walked round and round it after anh left. dinner and then now back here again.

tonight will be spent on the train. hope the environment isnt too bad!

and pimples are popping out. the air here is really dirty:(

2010-12-13T22:53:00.002+08:00

hanoi today:D

met up with anh!!!! and she drove me ard on her motorbike. my first time on a motorbike! as usual i was like ah ah ah-ing at first hahaha later i got used to it. but ask me about the adventure man because the roads are defnittly nothing like sg's.

went to
-get a new backpack(mine broke)
-hoan kiem lake(took a little stroll)
-the old university in hanoi(a lot of Chinese words, mostly on Confucius teachings)
-revolutionARY MUSUEM(WAS ABIT BORING:()
-shopped at a bookshop
-drank avocado milkshake at a very cool place called zig zag and chilled alittle
-lunch was glutinous rice with pork pie(VERY NICE)
-dinner was spring rolls, vietnam pillow(was like curry puff but the filling was egg, pork, taw gay), dried beef and papaya salad with nice nice saigon beer(should try hanoi beer tmr)
-went to anh's house!!!!! yeah! i bet alot of people have been to vietnam but havent been to a local's place HAHAHAHA i love going to native's house. tells alot:) the place they stay in is so different from singapore's. mostly like shophouses and the front door is just like the shophouse with the metal gate. the house is 3 stories high. anh said sometimes people will rent out the first storey for people to do business. i love anh:) she is such a good host!

tmr will be still hanoi. then ill set off to sapa at night. hope there will be internet access and computer too!

2010-12-13T09:56:00.003+08:00

boohoo something happened to my little right eye. swollen and stings abit. i hope it is gone by tmr:( and hope it wont be smth serious!

ytd was hcm city tour
-war remnants musuem
-post office
-notre chapel
-temples
-handicapped handcrafts
-chinatown
-we went to ben thranh day market ourselves

had very nice vietnamese food:) met an american. he used to work for us air force but has now retired. interesting guy.

yesterday was real scary. i was sitting alone waiting for the delayed flight. two russian guys attempted to talk to me but their english is really bad so i couldnt really understand them. then one was like asking me to move over. when i refused to, he moved over himself and very happily placed his arm over my shoulders. i was like no i dont like this. then after a while, he stroked my hair. wth. and keep asking me to look into his eyes. then wah thats it. i just like randomly pointed at smth like i have to go and said nice to meet u. haahhaa. then he was like saying nonono.

when i reached the airport, i think i was too tired, my brain isnt functioning well. i actually randomly hopped on a private car charging me ard the price of a cab. after hopping on, i realised the danger-.- but it was too late. but nvm i survived.

so i am at hanoi now. kinda miss having the whole room to myself haha.

saigon mini hotel was good. highly reccommended!

oooo and there was a guy walking there who is a vietnamese cantonese:) my san jiao mao cantonese is quite useful at times:) coz after he realised he can converse with me in cantonese, he was real helpful!

2010-12-11T22:56:00.002+08:00

day 3 at hcm:)

today was cai dao temple and cu chi tunnel:)

cai dao tunnel was special. like the only word i can use to describe it. it is basically a combination of muslim, christianity, confucianism, taoism, buddhism. so yes nth much else.

cu chi tunnel is definitely worth going. im really amazed by the traps, the tunnels, the weapons they made using the bomb remnants. ahhhh and crawling in the cu chi tunnel is tiring. after 20m i come out looking like i just ran 2.4km -.- everyone was laughing at me.

sat beside a china guy today. he was like luo futeng replica. he couldnt see the use of studying republican era shanghai. he said like those gu dian stuff are more were studying. but like i really wonder what is wrong with them. isnt republican era partt of their history? if the song dint study tang but only study the pre qin period, imagine what it would be like. what are the sources we can rely on now? and he was like saying bu ming bai wei shen me xian zai de ren dou na me mei you yuan jian. I WAS PISSED OFF. so i just haha-ed it away. i think he is the narrow minded one. and he started like ritising my thesis. luckily profS had given approval and told me it is worth doing if not ill be so disturbed thinking that smth is wrong.

met a singaporean couple. nice knowing them. a french working in singapore too. and an old german guy who is very jian tan:)

then dinner with sooky and friend:) chilling by the streets was great! never had such a chance to have such in depth talk with her:D

2010-12-10T21:40:00.003+08:00

my xiaobai zhenwang again like officially ZHEN wang:(

today started off with a pleasant surprise!!! I RUN INTO SOOKY AT THE HOTEL'S RESTAURANT! we were like exclaiming i cannot believe it in unison while hugging each other. hahahahahaa. we are meeting for dinner tmr:D

on my way to the tourist agency today, i saw rooster fight on the streets. a pity my xiaobai isnt working (i have this feeling like for the whole day). crossing the road is tiring like u have to be brave to step into the road with ALOT of vehicles and never stop no matter how convinced the vehicle will knock u down because if you stop this will really happen.

mekong delta today.
what i did:
-bus for 2 hours
-speedboat
-rice paper making
-lunch
-coconut candy making
-folk song listening
-look at bees and snakes
-ride on a horse carriage
-ride on a sampan
-bus for another 2 hours
back in the ho chi minh city:
-dinner with nice dinner
-walking around
-post office
-night market
-supper (courageously tried a drink i have no idea what it is, turns out to be plum drink hahaha)

i made new friends!!! 2 japanese who are doing exchange at nus! and they will still be there next sem:D the guy is kakoi!!! ahhaaha. only the face though. while i was talking to the girl, she seems to have a little difficulty so i said nihongo de ii. she said oh u know japanese??? hai sugoshi. then she was like but i want to practise. my os was i want to practise too but i smiled and said of course. haha.

nice day!

hope i make more new friends tomorrow!

today's tour were mostly singaporeans and malaysian. only 2 from china. 2 from korean. 3 from japanese. and 1 black.

2010-12-09T20:05:00.002+08:00

ok. i safely arrived at hcm.

i expected the chaos at the airport so i decided to let the cab company earn my $2. I think if i were to try hailing a cab myself, i will never get one.

on my way here, i was amazed by the amount of vehicles. cars are not the majority, ALOT OF MOTORBIKES. if there is ever a bike obstacle race or something, the champion will come from hcm. so basically if u can survive driving in hcm, u can drive anywhere in the world safe and sound. and if you look carefully, some are not motorbikes, they are bicycles! AND they are almost the same speed as the rest of the vehicles. alot of things can be placed on their scooters though. guitar, children standing, bags, boxes etc.

my xiaobai is vibrating again so i think ill record the sights using words instead.

the surrounding reminds me of nanjing, somehow, without the train stations.

my dinner tonight was indian food. i should be eating vietnam food but thennnnn. i wanted to try the street food but they are all in vietnamese. i should have learnt some basic vietnamese before i came-.- i decided i dont want to have weird food on the first day and feel upset so i entered a restaurant instead. lots of angmohs. this equals to VERY EXPENSIVE but ill be able to understand the menu. so i spent around 7 bucks for dinner eating my fav chicken masala. but boohoohoo im so disappointed with the food there. i should have just randomly point at something on the streets and see what i get instead. worst indian food ever:( then the cook came along. i didnt know the distaste on my face is like so obvious. he asked if the food was ok. i decided that i dont want to be bashed up so i said ok and *beams*. hahahaha.

my gang ju should be showing now boohoohoo. i hope my mama rmbs to buy my iweekly!

tmr will be mekong delta and pointing randomly to order streetside food. AHAHA.

2010-12-09T15:12:00.002+08:00

at the airport. about to set off to hcm:)

i did the most stupid thing ever today. i was having fun stepping on the erm crunchy? crispy? leaves *now they sound yummy*. i was following the yummy leaves ard and i almost stepped onto an escalator going the opp direction -.-

2010-11-30T23:32:00.002+08:00

I GIVE UP.

anything that needs too much maintainence.

that is it.

if friends truly care for each other, i dont understand why we can't even meet for a short meal.

ok. just another 2 friends gone.

forget it.

i am not trying anymore.

but i am wondering should i blah everything out or just leave it as it is.

2010-11-25T19:09:00.005+08:00

my xurong de laomazi got her daughter a harvard tee. and check out the lingyi xianxiang in this pic!

yeah meeting my vietnam friend soon:D

off to ubin for bbq

my first presentation for print culture this sem. time flies~~~

this is VERY GOOD!

2010-11-24T20:17:00.003+08:00

oh i forgot! i was supposed to highly recommend the hair salon i went on monday!

Russell at jp's new wing!

not bad leh!

the hairdresser really managed to give my hopeless hair abit of volume! because i have gone ard asking hairdresser to give my hair volume. most of them did but with the hairdryer. u know like blowwwwwww volume out. then after a while. byebye!

this Ricky guy is marvellous! at least for yesterday and today, my hair is more voluminous than before. and it is bouncy! his layering is real good!

AND

they don't keep telling you your hair needs this and that and make you spend money. nobody disturbs you. this, i like alot. i really don't need your pushy sales when i just want to cut my hair.

AND

he is very gentle with my hair. i always want to punch those hairdressers who pull my hair like"violently" but ill be too busy commanding my hair to stay strong and stick to my scalp. this time, i don't have to say anything to my hair:D

maybe i should go back there for perming/colouring! :D

2010-11-24T17:34:00.004+08:00

i am soooooo convinced the 8 year old boy is in love with me hahahaha! he poured me a glass of water and pouted when he realised his mum had already given me a glass of water. hahaha THEN he told his mum he wants to have tuition twice a weeek instead of once. *actually i thought it was redundant, he is way better than a lot of people* i kept asking him really? and he mian tian-ly said yes. SOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. and today i told him a joke. because in his comprehension, there was a question asking why the boy's face turned red. so in order to make him rmb how to use this description, i asked him an iq question. pang xie shen me shi hou zui hai xiu? then when i told him the ans, he paused for a few seconds and started grinning mian tian-ly. hahhahahaha. what a smart boy! i did not have to explain why after telling him the answer! then later i taught him the word duck, so i thought i could tell him another joke so i asked him how many legs a duck has? donald duck? mickey mouse? mouse? and without even hesitating, he told me all the correct answer! *some people will really say a mouse has 2 legs-.- or have to think for a while* so i praised him. ah! ni hao cong ming o! dou bu hui bei laoshi pian~ and he gave me his mian tian grin again. sooooooooooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeee. and his chinese is really very good. and he will ask me why some chong die words must be pronounced with qing sheng, why some are not. and why dong xi is called dong xi. luckily i took wenzixue and yuyinxue man. phewww. i think he will be a high flyer in future. when i was his age, whatever the teacher tells me ill just go orh orh orh. what a cute and intelligent boy! :D NOT TO FORGET! his chinese pronunciation is like PERFECT even all the qingsheng-s! omg how many singaporeans can do that! *thumbs up*

and my life is starting to be all about my students ohnoooo

holidays schedule: * just in case u all want to date me and pls do*

9-19 dec: away from singapore

if not

monday: available after 6
tuesday: available after 4
wednesday: available after 2
thursday: available after 12
friday: not sure yet, for now it is all freee woohoo
saturday: available after 12
sunday: freee all day!

and this hols i must try to finish my gao-s, as much of my thesis as possible! jiayou weiying:D

and of course meet up with as many people as possible!!! this is very important!

Last day of nus exams

2010-11-23T21:37:00.001+08:00

Yeah!!!!' no more fangyanxue!!! Woohoo!!!

Just one more jlpt to go:) anyway I'm prepared to take at least twice so nvmmmmm

And yes I'm starting to a little too apprehensive for my own good. I'll survive hcm!

旅行の意味

2010-11-15T14:32:00.001+08:00

みんな、旅行が大好き、何で?

楽しみだけではなく、人生の意味を探すことも大切でしょ?

(￣ー￣)

2010-11-14T15:46:00.002+08:00

一个人的劣根性到底可以多根深蒂固？

原来，有时算命师的意见也颇值得参考的。

“18-20岁之间，我桃花泛滥，但必须小心因为都是烂桃花。”

对啊，果然好大一棵烂桃花。

有时候，真的很怀疑算命的意义是什么。事先知道似乎也于事无补。

现在，我只会不断地怀疑自己到底当时在搞什么鬼。样子没有、品德更没有。问题是，还是我审评最讨厌的那种人！怨天、怨地、怨全世界，就是看不到自己的不是。

难怪我20岁之后就不断蒙起逃离的念头。

这可恶的梦魇。

我应该为自己的成功逃离而感到高兴。至少我成长了很多，知道原来世界上有如此恶劣的人。

但是，他到底还要害多少人啊？

真的有一股冲动，想告劝曾经向我如此无知的少女小心一些。

Auntie or jiejie

2010-11-08T23:03:00.001+08:00

The nice mum: Call auntie, smile~ be friendly
The baby: stares blankly
Me: *smiles* ooo what a cute baby

Os: of course it is staring blankly, I'm jie jie, not auntie.

2010-10-28T22:52:00.000+08:00

i dont know what im feeling right now. weird feeling :s

2010-10-23T21:34:00.008+08:00

supposed to be malacca trip photos but i decided they are not too interesting anyway so im putting only a few and ive mixed in some other stuff for entertaining purposes-.- field trip mates:) got to know alot more about my major mates. much better than those forced get togethers.

yes. when i was at exchange. look at how fat i was and i obviously dinno if not i wont be still eating T.T

last year this time. i had more hair and i was limmer *sobs*

one of the many neoprints i took this year. tongxinweimin.

during field trip, following our prof up a hill and down the hill again to look at very ancient graves.

our hotel room! the tv was showing taiwan xiangtu ju in hokkien! dok gong!

another of the many neoprints! my dearest neoprint mate! weiying:)

sanbaomiao in malacca. i realised i was the only non tj mmmmm

2010-10-22T19:15:00.005+08:00

he had always been rather non existent in my life anyway.

now that i am scrimping and saving up, working almost over my limit, i really want to punch him when he still leeches off me, toiletries wise.

ok i know it sounds stupid. but ive always been spending alot on those coz nv ren xu yao bao yang what.

wth.

he is a guy. he can quit using my things.

i really hate sharing the toilet with him.

1)my toiletries are always surprisingly used up real fast when ive been trying to use the minimal and never once did he bought new ones. i dont expect him to buy back my expensive ones but at least do smth right since ure earning dont know how many times more than i do.

2)the toilet is always so dirty. how dirty? to the extent that my def not a clean freak ex would claim that my toilet is dirty.

3) he always forgets to flush the toilet AFTER HE SHITS! and one day my tutee went to the toilet and yelled for help, saying theres smth very gross in the toilet bowl.

4)AND I FOUND OUT TODAY that he uses my towel to CLEAN HIS WET MOUTH. damn it!

5) his specs is always for unknown reason lying on top of my scrub. just like his things that do not belong to the toilet is always lying in the toilet.

6)he never once changes a a new toilet roll/ new toothpaste when they are running out. and all these things are just in the store beside the toilet.

im toilet freak. i hate it when i have to bath in a disgusting toilet. i mean outside, its like hobson's choice right. but home?

i think i might have to resort to method u use when u leave in a hostel. bring all the things back to ur room after u bath and bring them all out when u want to bath.

im going to buy a small pail for that.

disgusting freak.

and the thing that adds on to it is i dont feel like ive been bullied during my school days, my only source of misery comes from him then.

childish as it is, it makes me boil more to know that he is using my expensive stuff, those i traded my sleep and my free time with

2010-10-11T01:00:00.002+08:00

今天又回去了。

一个曾经很熟悉，现在却很遥远的地方。

本来事过境迁，*也许也没好到哪里去，否则我也不用回去了* 回去理应有一种俨然重生的喜悦，但显然没有。

还是黯然地落泪了。

那曾经是我向往的家。

我希望有这样的哥哥，不需要很close但必要的时候，你知道他会鼓励你、帮助你。

我希望有这样的妈妈，可以无所不谈，无须忌讳。

我希望有这样一个家，他们会为我最小的成就而举家庆祝。

坦白说，我哭了一年多，有大半年是为了失去这个家而哭泣的。

现在我的眼泪也同样有一半是为了哀悼和自己擦身而过的家庭温暖。另一半则是对自己的责备。

一向为自己的经济独立而感到自豪的我，其实已经在不自觉中害父母损失了不少，几乎足够供完我这四年的大学学费了。到最后，我还是欠他们的，而且追不追得回还是未知数。

刚刚还在那儿的时候就已经感觉自己的泪快决堤了。

还好眼泪够坚强。

够坚强。

2010-09-24T23:52:00.001+08:00

我分明记得小时候去拜拜的时候，妈妈说这个是郑和嘛~谁知道新加坡的郑和庙在哪里啊？唤我一个清白！

anyway, back from malacca. alot of eating. time to slim down-.-

2010-09-19T23:02:00.011+08:00

photo time! it is better to look at my photos than to hear me whine right hahaha:D
charyong dinner:) i was the only one so erm bright in my choice of colours:( i wonder why.

neoprints! our fav hobby:D

flyer:D the most interesting one! ahhaha

neoprints for the birthday girl:D

hahaha i finally see this photo taken in march!

this is the face ive always been giving clarence behind his back shhh AHHAAA

the two of us and our hilarious haircut date:D

hehe childish me having fun.

honeybee likes to take picture out of the nowhere. even the guy who was asked to help us take a picture looks abit taken aback.

ermmm ok.. i went for this. i still cnat believe i did.